dailydoseofsamantics:

There is this guy on the bus who calls himself Jeff. Jeff narrates the entire bus ride in third person. Today was the only day I have been on the bus with Jeff where someone has told him to shut up. Jeff sighed and then said “Jeff dramatically looks out of the window while sighing. Jeff just couldn’t understand why people had to be so rude.” The person who told him to shut up now looks like he is going to cry out of frustration.

castielofasgard:

baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat:

spainstateofmind:

thebadwolf:

Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.

you can go fuck yourself

my mum did this and didnt tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues